It's a bit sassy for me to be Giving Advice to someone I don't know well!--but I've seen other guys (and girls) go through what it sounds like you went through with Malta Girl. I feel soooo strongly on this subject.

And though I could be way off, I'd hazard a guess that it was because you already believed you weren't deserving of love, that you kept chasing after someone who treated you poorly. Don't EVER put up with someone who jerks you around, no matter how wonderful you think they are. I know it's not fashionable to like Dr Phil, but as the dude has said many times: You have to teach people how to treat you.

The more my husband's self-esteem has inched up over the years, the more he demands that I treat him with respect, and the less he puts up with my bullshit.

...But I will stop preaching now. :-)

...And listen to Wear Sunscreen at least once a year. ;-)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sTJ7AzBIJoI

A lot of women will hang onto a guy who boosts her self-esteem, who makes her feel beautiful and good about herself, even if she isn't fully in love with him. She might even WANT to be in love with him, or she might THINK she's in love with him... some days. And she might even marry the guy! And then you find yourself in a relationship where you love the other person, more than they love you. And that is not a good place to be.

When you're really in love with someone, you don't feel hot one day, and cold the next. Especially not women. It's a bad sign. Have you seen the movie He's Just Not That Into You? There's one storyline in there that's exactly about this. I personally think it's especially The Nice Guys, the Romantics, the ones who want to be the Shining Armour Knights who are most vulnerable to ending up in that sort of relationship. When they should hold out for someone who is hands down CRAZY about them.

You're not undeserving of love. You are deserving of someone who thinks you're the bee's knees.

But those iz just my opinionz. :-)

One year my friends and I came up with this whole theory about how fast you should show your cards when you're interested in someone. Do you put them down ONE at a TIME and then wait to see how they respond? Or do you throw them all on the table and say: Here I am! Are you in??

The latter method might occasionally work, but probably not often. We got into the whole thing because of a friend of ours' (who was part of these debates) was a throw down the cards kind of guy.