Edmonton will always be a prison to me.. for those who have had the police come to your door and handcuffs placed on them.. they will understand what that means.... it is just a doctors appointment.. to get my IE papers signed and yet I would rather forgo the check and simply fall asleep in my bed... to be around people.. to be near people... I am fearful... my heart shudders.. but I must.. I see the clock tick down and know it is time to go.. but there will always be a voice screaming in my head.. that I am the boy who belongs locked away.. the freak of nature... I walk alone in this world never apart of what I am apart of by being flesh and bones.. each day it is still a struggle to simply exist.. to walk among the living when so much inside me is locked away unable to come out.. I am from a different time when men were men... when we were warriors.. not this life where we are trapped living intellectual lives or fighting wars of economics.. even though war has always been about economics.. the image we have in our heads of knights and princesses is just that an illusion we may only touch in our dreams... and perhaps that is why I long for sleep so I might find peace in the dreams which come no more..